Just a Glimpse

I find that sometimes during the rush of the week or daily grind my emotional vision gets obscured, unless you count the numerous times I get frustrated when the kids aren't behaving up to par.  I sometimes feel like a robot trying to accomplish my list. I had a nice opportunity to slow down and just let the day soak in without needing to "get stuff done". Rachel has an inguinal hernia and was supposed to have surgery last week but when I woke her up in the morning to take her to the hospital she had thrown up sometime during the night, without waking us, slept in it and had diarrhea in her diaper, on top of a cough and snotty nose.  Poor baby. So ironic that she barely had a cold this winter and gets sick on the one day she needs to be healthy.  So of course we had to cancel. Adam and I got her bathed and sheets changed and then she promptly threw up on her new clean jammies.  After one more bath I took her to my room and just held her in my rocker and she just loved against me and rested and slept for forty five minutes.  She's so big now and doesn't do this much anymore.  It made me cry a little that there won't be many more moments like this when holding her in my arms is all she needs.  The older kids are still affectionate but it's not the same when they are sick like this.  It really is true that it goes by so fast. It's almost over.  The rest of the day she just lounged or slept on me and I couldn't help think that I don't know if I"m ready for this part of my life to end, meaning am I ready for the hustle and bustle of busy kids and teenagers. Will the tender moments continue? Are they just different? Can't this last forever? Of course then I started thinking that heaven for me is a baby nestled in my neck. Will I get to hold my babies in heaven? Now I'm just rambling but I didn't do anything that day but love my babies, and I loved it.